I’ve realized very recently that each of us is probably the worst person to gauge our success and define how we interact with the world. I talk a lot about stepping back from your life or your problems and dealing with them, and I think this applies more than anything else here. At several points throughout my life I have taken on a new career path, learned that it wasn’t for me, and then had people tell me, “yea, I knew it wasn’t for you from the beginning.”
I think the reason I never saw that it wasn’t for me was that I was too caught up in the present, and I never stopped to remove myself from my situation and emotions and focus on what I was dealing with at the time. I think this is why we seek advice so often, because we know subconsciously that we are not seeing the issue at hand from a distance, and we need someone’s opinion who has the perspective.
This is why I’ve been wrong about my life in the past. And of course, I wasn’t really wrong so much as I was learning. We learn about ourselves by trying new things and making mistakes. The problem, however, is that we don’t learn effectively (want to know how to learn effectively? Here’s a video that I made that will help!). We need to figure out how we learn, and then apply that knowledge to everything, including ourselves.
If you find that you learn best by writing (i.e. you write notes and then remember everything you wrote), then sit down and write about your life, write about what you’re dealing with, and write about a solution. If you learn best by talking, then talk out loud to someone else who will listen, or talk into the mirror. Go through whatever issue you’re dealing with at the time.
The reason I entitled this post, “Why You’re Wrong About Your Life,” is because we operate in the present. Too often we don’t remove ourselves from emotion and the daily mess of things going on to identify and observe our problems. I think this is the reason for stress. Stress is our body’s way of telling us, “hey! There’s a little bit of a problem, and we need to figure out what to do.” It’s your body’s fight or flight mechanism at work: Do we run from the thing that is causing the stress, or fight it head on? Here’s another video I made that will help. This one discusses the benefits of stress and exactly how it interacts with us to determine the best path to take.
So, step back from your life and your problems. If you need a physical representation of this, get something to represent your problem, and put it down in front of you. It’s no longer a part of you, and so it can’t bother you anymore. Now look at that problem and think about it. Use the power of your subconscious to figure out a solution. Like Les Brown says, “If you have a problem man can solve, you ain’t got no problem.”
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