I just had an interesting thought…if I asked you the following question, how would you respond: “Do you believe that you have everything you have decided to have in life, that everything you don’t have you have decided not to have, and that every part of how you live your life is controlled by you?”
I’m not sure what your answer would be, but I’ve asked quite a few people if they believe they don’t have the house they want, the car they want, the money they want, or the relationships they want because they have decided not to have them, and every single one of them has said “no.”
Fair enough, I guess. But then, who or what has decided what you have? Is there someone else calling all of the shots in your life? Tough question to answer…
One more question: let’s take someone who is wealthy and successful, has their dream house, drives their dream car, takes lavish vacations every other month, opens their mail to find checks rather than bills, owns their own business and is happy going to work every day, loves their spouse and enjoys every relationship they have…how would this person answer that first question?
Can you imagine asking this person if he or she believes that they have what they have decided to have, and lacks only what they have decided not to have, and having them respond with, “no, I just got lucky,” or, “yea, life kind of just handed me all of these wonderful things”? If you’re as smart as I think you are, you don’t think they would.
Earl Nightingale has a great quote: “We are all self-made, but only the successful will admit it.” This is completely true. We all decide on the life we will live, but the only people who admit it are proud of what they have. It reminds me of the two students, one who gets a good grade, the other a failing grade. The A-student sees his grade and thinks about the hard work he put in studying and reading for the test, and feels a sense of accomplishment. He is proud to have earned the A. The D-student says, “the teacher gave me a D.” Do you see the difference? It’s easy to think that we are just given what we have in life, but it’s not true. These two students think differently about their lot in life.
Like Zig Ziglar says, “it doesn’t matter your lot in life, it matters what you build on it.” The A-student put in time and effort and was happy with what he received, so he understood that he earned his grade. The D-student didn’t spend any time studying, and it’s easier for him to blame someone else than to blame himself.
Start understanding that you get what you decide to get in life. Your own actions and thoughts and effort lead to what you get, so start controlling your actions, thoughts, and effort.